Sunday 30 May 2010

Loom [Mac/PC]

Play it for:
* unique and smart control system.
* has a certain enigmatic charm.

Avoid it for:
* unresolved, underdeveloped, and incomplete.
* short (see above).

Wednesday 26 May 2010

Machinarium [Mac/PC]

Play it for:
* beautiful art style.
* you can't help but love the rustily cute world and characters.
* great combination of "point n click" puzzling and more Layton-esque brainteasers.

Avoit it for:
* despite the great experience, it's a bit on the short side for its full price (£15).

Saturday 22 May 2010

Portal [Mac][PC]

Play it for:
* Old school science fiction atmosphere.
* Unique and memorable gameplay experience.
* The song at the end.

Avoid it for:
* The game only reveals its full majesty in the last couple of chapters - though the ones leading up to that point are thankfully short and sweet.

Robin Hood 2010 [film]

Watch it for:
* Cate Blanchett.
* To see the French get whooped.
* A film that defies expectations.

Avoid it for:
* Slow.
* Tries to be too clever and takes itself too seriously.

Monday 17 May 2010

Not a poet

How am I judged? It's fair but also terse:
I'm not a poet. No. I just write verse.
So even though my metres flow alright,
My rhymes aren't bad, my structure's pretty tight,
But even so, these virtues are my flaws;
And better if I wrote bereft of laws
With verse as free as vultures in the air
And similarly full of grim despair
(Or full of any overwhelming passion -
At least, that seems to me to be the fashion.)
These vultures soar in search of greater beasts,
Which dead they rip asunder for their feasts.
Oh must it render all my verse as nought
Because of clear-communicating thought?
Oh must I write beneath a foggy shroud?
Or else with melodrama brashly loud?
"Well, yes, you silly fool. I think you'll find
That Poetry of the most superior kind
Has multiple mixed meanings to be mined."
This mumbo jumbo makes a lot of sense;
I see the good in having text that's dense.
For as dense weights sink far beneath the sea,
Just so dense texts can plumb humanity.
My lighter wit has quite a different home
And gaily drifts amidst the froth and foam.
Though mocked, one day I'll be that which I hope;
A modern shade of Alexander Pope.
Till then my shallow lines will soothe me too,
If, reading them, you view the world anew.

Friday 14 May 2010

Geese is the word

Fun little poem I knocked up during my lunch break today.
*** WARNING *** Contains strong language. Also, I shouldn't even have to say this, but given what's been read into some of my stuff in the past I'd better: this poem is about geese, and doesn't reflect at all on any of the people I know in Canada at the moment! Anyway, here it is.


The Canadian Goose is a grumpy old thing
Like the codger who lives next door;
So alike in their sense of entitlement
As they seek to impose their law.
Thus the geese grab the crumbs from the poor ickle ducks
And'll snatch 'em from *your* hand too.
Then as if to add insult to injury
They'll cover the path with poo.
As you try to pass by all their sly squidgy shits
With a hoppity tip-toe crawl,
They'll stand in your way and they'll hiss their distaste
That you dare to exist at all.
Oh the Land cannot stand these Napoleoners
For much longer than half a year.
That is why they must fuck off to Canada;
So far - but still too near...

Monday 10 May 2010

Super Mario Galaxy [wii]

Play it for:
* pure AWESOME, pure FUN.
* amazingly creative level design.
* wonderful controls.

Avoid it for:
* voice acting, though thankfully sparse, is awful.