Monday 20 April 2009
Crossword: Closed Circuit Television
Highlight of Saturday's crossword was nan asking how to spell CCTV.
Saturday 18 April 2009
Mario, Sonic & Me
Warning: this will be a rambling post.
The other day I bought Super Mario 64 for my DS. This extra bit of warmth has hatched a once seemingly infertile egg (laid by a Yoshi). I am now a Mario fan.
Just two short years ago it all seemed so unlikely. I mean, when I was a kid, I didn't have any Nintendo or Sega consoles like many other kids had. (I progressed ZX Spectrum -> Commodore 64 -> Amiga 1200). Yet I had a fairly clear idea on what I thought of Mario vs Sonic. Mario's an ugly plumber with a dodgy Italian accent. He seemed as unappetising and American as day-old takeaway pizza. Sonic was a blue hedgehog - a blue hedgehog! And he could run at craaazy speeds... I could see that on my friends' Game Gears.
In contrast, my only prior experience of Mario was Super Mario 64 on a uni friend's N64. I liked watching my friends play it, but I was a 2D guy in a 3D world. I had no real control over the portly plumber. I was a motivational speaker addressing an audience of narcoleptics.
Oh how times change! I did succumb to the temptation to play Sonic, getting Sonic Rush for my DS. It was highly rated and even had a choice of characters you could use. It should have been some classic retro platforming. But it just didn't suit me at all. It went too fast; i'm a strategic planner not an intuitive reactor. Plus what type of game gives non-linear environments to explore yet has speed of completion as its raison d'etre? There's no real incentive to explore, yet I still felt I was missing out. I'd also finish a level so quickly I'd have no idea how it all had happened. I was so disappointed I got rid of the game. And I have no desire to get any new 3D Sonic games, as they're meant to be mediocre.
But Mario, dear Mario. As in real life, substance and heart triumph over glamour and gimmickry.
I was reintroduced to him a couple of year's ago through a friend's Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii. I only played for a few hours, but it was a fantastic experience. I have a copy at my mum's. I also have Super Mario Sunshine which I've been playing on my new Gamecube. Super Mario World (2D) on my GBA. And now Super Mario 64 on my DS - the game that I couldn't play on the N64!
It's much better on the DS. I can actually use one (and only one) of the 3 different control methods. Plus I get to be Yoshi in this version too. Double Yay.
So why do I like the Mario games so much? I guess the same reasons as everyone else; fantastic physics and level design. They're interesting, challenging and fair.
But the 3D Mario games are what have me cheering in my little head. You play a level till you complete a certain scenario which gets you a star. You then replay that level with a different scenario to get another star. When you have enough stars, you get access to new levels. You can then go to those new levels to get more stars, or you can try to milk each last star possible out of your older levels before moving on. If a particular scenario is just too hard, you can go elsewhere to get the stars you need to progress further. Phew.
That's all very abstract and needlessly confusing. So here's a concrete example from Super Mario Sunshine. After getting a certain amount of Shine stars, I was able to access a new beach area. My first task involved watering a certain flower, which made a magical sandcastle (naturally), which I then entered, as you do. The bad dude robbed my water pump off me, so I had to do normal jumps across falling bricks and climb a big sandcastle to reach the star. So far, so mundane? Well, when you retrieve a star, you're transported back to the main area, and on returning to the beach level, there was now a different task to get a star. The island has a special egg which the natives keep warm with sunlight from huge mirrors (how else?). Naughty bugs had got on the mirrors so they were pointing the wrong way, and a caterpillar was now wrapped round the egg! So I do fatty-bum jumps on the high sides of the mirrors to catapult the nasty bugs off. And when everything's back in place, it's too hot for the caterpillar who scarpers, and I get my star... Yet now when I return to the beach, the angry caterpillar is charging around. Yikes! I have to water plants to make sandcastles that'll trip that livid larva so i can fatty-bum jump on its segments till it's defeated - then I get another star!
Mario remains the same strength throughout the game. This is actually a positive feature. It means you'll never have huge amounts of life or weapon upgrades. So you can't get through a boss fight with reckless bravado - but similarly it means you're not up against enemies that may have ridiculous amounts of health, do crazy damage, or are just plain unavoidable.
Oh and one last reason why the star collecting system is so great. You can play for half an hour, collect a star or two and think, "Good job, you. You've done well today." Mini-endorphin rush. And if I keep doing that, then sooner or later these games will join the hallowed few that I've actually played to completion.
Ramble over.
The other day I bought Super Mario 64 for my DS. This extra bit of warmth has hatched a once seemingly infertile egg (laid by a Yoshi). I am now a Mario fan.
Just two short years ago it all seemed so unlikely. I mean, when I was a kid, I didn't have any Nintendo or Sega consoles like many other kids had. (I progressed ZX Spectrum -> Commodore 64 -> Amiga 1200). Yet I had a fairly clear idea on what I thought of Mario vs Sonic. Mario's an ugly plumber with a dodgy Italian accent. He seemed as unappetising and American as day-old takeaway pizza. Sonic was a blue hedgehog - a blue hedgehog! And he could run at craaazy speeds... I could see that on my friends' Game Gears.
In contrast, my only prior experience of Mario was Super Mario 64 on a uni friend's N64. I liked watching my friends play it, but I was a 2D guy in a 3D world. I had no real control over the portly plumber. I was a motivational speaker addressing an audience of narcoleptics.
Oh how times change! I did succumb to the temptation to play Sonic, getting Sonic Rush for my DS. It was highly rated and even had a choice of characters you could use. It should have been some classic retro platforming. But it just didn't suit me at all. It went too fast; i'm a strategic planner not an intuitive reactor. Plus what type of game gives non-linear environments to explore yet has speed of completion as its raison d'etre? There's no real incentive to explore, yet I still felt I was missing out. I'd also finish a level so quickly I'd have no idea how it all had happened. I was so disappointed I got rid of the game. And I have no desire to get any new 3D Sonic games, as they're meant to be mediocre.
But Mario, dear Mario. As in real life, substance and heart triumph over glamour and gimmickry.
I was reintroduced to him a couple of year's ago through a friend's Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii. I only played for a few hours, but it was a fantastic experience. I have a copy at my mum's. I also have Super Mario Sunshine which I've been playing on my new Gamecube. Super Mario World (2D) on my GBA. And now Super Mario 64 on my DS - the game that I couldn't play on the N64!
It's much better on the DS. I can actually use one (and only one) of the 3 different control methods. Plus I get to be Yoshi in this version too. Double Yay.
So why do I like the Mario games so much? I guess the same reasons as everyone else; fantastic physics and level design. They're interesting, challenging and fair.
But the 3D Mario games are what have me cheering in my little head. You play a level till you complete a certain scenario which gets you a star. You then replay that level with a different scenario to get another star. When you have enough stars, you get access to new levels. You can then go to those new levels to get more stars, or you can try to milk each last star possible out of your older levels before moving on. If a particular scenario is just too hard, you can go elsewhere to get the stars you need to progress further. Phew.
That's all very abstract and needlessly confusing. So here's a concrete example from Super Mario Sunshine. After getting a certain amount of Shine stars, I was able to access a new beach area. My first task involved watering a certain flower, which made a magical sandcastle (naturally), which I then entered, as you do. The bad dude robbed my water pump off me, so I had to do normal jumps across falling bricks and climb a big sandcastle to reach the star. So far, so mundane? Well, when you retrieve a star, you're transported back to the main area, and on returning to the beach level, there was now a different task to get a star. The island has a special egg which the natives keep warm with sunlight from huge mirrors (how else?). Naughty bugs had got on the mirrors so they were pointing the wrong way, and a caterpillar was now wrapped round the egg! So I do fatty-bum jumps on the high sides of the mirrors to catapult the nasty bugs off. And when everything's back in place, it's too hot for the caterpillar who scarpers, and I get my star... Yet now when I return to the beach, the angry caterpillar is charging around. Yikes! I have to water plants to make sandcastles that'll trip that livid larva so i can fatty-bum jump on its segments till it's defeated - then I get another star!
Mario remains the same strength throughout the game. This is actually a positive feature. It means you'll never have huge amounts of life or weapon upgrades. So you can't get through a boss fight with reckless bravado - but similarly it means you're not up against enemies that may have ridiculous amounts of health, do crazy damage, or are just plain unavoidable.
Oh and one last reason why the star collecting system is so great. You can play for half an hour, collect a star or two and think, "Good job, you. You've done well today." Mini-endorphin rush. And if I keep doing that, then sooner or later these games will join the hallowed few that I've actually played to completion.
Ramble over.
Saturday 11 April 2009
Survived the Day
I'm not normally going to talk about personal things; that's not my style. But today was a big day I guess... or rather, it wasn't.
You see, at the start of this year, I was engaged. And Saturday 10th April was the date set for the wedding. Things all ended a bit craply for reasons I won't go into here. It was really quite an upsetting disaster, in that it created a lot of pain and disharmony. Moreover, it pretty much meant the end of my hopes of starting a family - I'm now 30 and there's no realistic chance of me meeting a suitable new girl in my current life.
In fact, my mum asked me on Friday whether she could try wife-hunting for me. I told her 'no' and that her timing was frankly extremely tactless. It's been a pretty awkward week anyway, with a few people who didn't know about the breakup asking me when I was getting married. And one friend who well-meaningly (but counter-productively) brought up the fact that I would have been getting wed this weekend.
But the day's gone by pretty smoothly. I've spent £20 at Cadbury World - mostly on stuff for my mum for Easter Sunday. I've endured my nan's crossword which we completed. Plus had a fantastic family meal with all my siblings, my mum, nan, great aunt and sis's boyfriend to celebrate (belatedly) my turning 30. Nando's with halal chicken. Yay!
And there's more! I enjoyed 4-player Super Monkey Ball and F-Zero. Watched The Incredibles for the first time (so much better than the dreadful trailer I saw years ago). And in all the moments in between these distractions, my mind has been filled with the blazing crimson of the future.
This last has been the most uplifting for my spirits. Freed from the goals of convention, I must now choose my own legacy for this life. As a Prometheus, I could steal the crimson flame from high Olympus and share its great boons with an ignorant mankind...
You see, at the start of this year, I was engaged. And Saturday 10th April was the date set for the wedding. Things all ended a bit craply for reasons I won't go into here. It was really quite an upsetting disaster, in that it created a lot of pain and disharmony. Moreover, it pretty much meant the end of my hopes of starting a family - I'm now 30 and there's no realistic chance of me meeting a suitable new girl in my current life.
In fact, my mum asked me on Friday whether she could try wife-hunting for me. I told her 'no' and that her timing was frankly extremely tactless. It's been a pretty awkward week anyway, with a few people who didn't know about the breakup asking me when I was getting married. And one friend who well-meaningly (but counter-productively) brought up the fact that I would have been getting wed this weekend.
But the day's gone by pretty smoothly. I've spent £20 at Cadbury World - mostly on stuff for my mum for Easter Sunday. I've endured my nan's crossword which we completed. Plus had a fantastic family meal with all my siblings, my mum, nan, great aunt and sis's boyfriend to celebrate (belatedly) my turning 30. Nando's with halal chicken. Yay!
And there's more! I enjoyed 4-player Super Monkey Ball and F-Zero. Watched The Incredibles for the first time (so much better than the dreadful trailer I saw years ago). And in all the moments in between these distractions, my mind has been filled with the blazing crimson of the future.
This last has been the most uplifting for my spirits. Freed from the goals of convention, I must now choose my own legacy for this life. As a Prometheus, I could steal the crimson flame from high Olympus and share its great boons with an ignorant mankind...
Monday 6 April 2009
Tube Ads' Crappy Grammar
Ok, I was in London last Tuesday and was bemused at seeing several ads on the tube with really poor grammar.
One was for an IVF clinic that had a photo of a bonny wee bairn talking about its "parent's genes" - although it did in fact have two parents rather than one.
Then there was an advert - Gilette, I think - that asked, "Who would of thought..?" Well, who would have thought such a sophisticated brand could make such a tacky mistake?
Lastly, there was another error - by Nivea, I think - which I can sadly no longer recall. Yet by mentioning it you'll now have to live with the anti-climactic frustration of knowing you'll never know it. Hopefully you'll get over it in time.
One was for an IVF clinic that had a photo of a bonny wee bairn talking about its "parent's genes" - although it did in fact have two parents rather than one.
Then there was an advert - Gilette, I think - that asked, "Who would of thought..?" Well, who would have thought such a sophisticated brand could make such a tacky mistake?
Lastly, there was another error - by Nivea, I think - which I can sadly no longer recall. Yet by mentioning it you'll now have to live with the anti-climactic frustration of knowing you'll never know it. Hopefully you'll get over it in time.
Sunday 5 April 2009
First post
Ok, gonna finally try to get involved in the blogging thing after seeing the great things other people are doing with them. I'm a bit lazy by nature, but this should give me a chance to get my fairly uncommon perspectives out there. This is just really a test post and minimalistic mission statement.
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