Play it for:
* RPG elements make this the best and least linear single-player campaign from Blizzard.
* Best plot and characters of a Blizzard game too, and a couple of goosebump moments.
* Revamped Battle.net mode is kinda awesome.
Avoid it for:
* Long load times, and greedy for RAM/processing power.
Sunday 22 August 2010
Monday 2 August 2010
Sam & Max - Season 2 [Mac/PC]
Play it for:
* bigger & better episodes than season 1.
* puzzles are much more innovative (time paradoxes!) and less frustrating too.
* all ties up into a fantastic finale with tons of great moments!
Avoid it for:
* still buggy as heck.
* bigger & better episodes than season 1.
* puzzles are much more innovative (time paradoxes!) and less frustrating too.
* all ties up into a fantastic finale with tons of great moments!
Avoid it for:
* still buggy as heck.
Tuesday 27 July 2010
Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time [PS3]
Play it for:
* satisfying conclusion to the trilogy.
* best weapon system of the three.
* best puzzles of the three.
Avoid it for:
* nothing radically new.
* satisfying conclusion to the trilogy.
* best weapon system of the three.
* best puzzles of the three.
Avoid it for:
* nothing radically new.
Secret of Monkey Island HD [PC]
Play it for:
* very witty and silly characters, dialogue, puzzles, and plot.
* some of the best gaming moments ever.
* new graphics, voice acting, and hint options make it better than ever.
* piratey goodness, yarrrr!
Avoid it for:
* if you have an underdeveloped/dull sense of humour.
* very witty and silly characters, dialogue, puzzles, and plot.
* some of the best gaming moments ever.
* new graphics, voice acting, and hint options make it better than ever.
* piratey goodness, yarrrr!
Avoid it for:
* if you have an underdeveloped/dull sense of humour.
Saturday 17 July 2010
Toki Tori [Mac/PC]
Play it for:
* remorselessly cheerful graphics and music.
* ingenious level design and game mechanics.
* the wonderfully bad Toki Tori rap at the end.
Avoid it for:
* if you are hateful, a moron, or a hateful moron.
* remorselessly cheerful graphics and music.
* ingenious level design and game mechanics.
* the wonderfully bad Toki Tori rap at the end.
Avoid it for:
* if you are hateful, a moron, or a hateful moron.
Tuesday 13 July 2010
Spycatcher [book]
Right. I finished this book about a month ago, but it's taken me a while to get round to the write-up.
This is the book that got banned in the 80's. I picked it up at a charity book stall.
It's actually very interesting. Very detail-heavy though. But if you have a mind that's fascinated by such detail, you'll learn lots and be quite shocked at quite how much gets revealed.
The tone of the book is intriguing too. What starts off like a history lesson, actually builds up in tension as one particular theme gathers overriding importance - namely, the possible presence of a high-up mole in MI5.
This is where the book gets personal. For while Peter Wright is very detached and descriptive in the most part, it's very difficult not to see things through his eyes. It's also where it gets a bit personal for me, because the Director General of MI5 at the time was Roger Hollis, the father of Adrian Hollis, who was my tutor at Oxford Uni. And not only that, Roger Hollis is also the person That Peter Wright clearly is convinced was a spy for the communists.
Reading something so controversial is enthralling enough. But knowing someone who must have been affected by the book's publication makes the speculation, that all the book's readers must go through, much more intimate...
This is the book that got banned in the 80's. I picked it up at a charity book stall.
It's actually very interesting. Very detail-heavy though. But if you have a mind that's fascinated by such detail, you'll learn lots and be quite shocked at quite how much gets revealed.
The tone of the book is intriguing too. What starts off like a history lesson, actually builds up in tension as one particular theme gathers overriding importance - namely, the possible presence of a high-up mole in MI5.
This is where the book gets personal. For while Peter Wright is very detached and descriptive in the most part, it's very difficult not to see things through his eyes. It's also where it gets a bit personal for me, because the Director General of MI5 at the time was Roger Hollis, the father of Adrian Hollis, who was my tutor at Oxford Uni. And not only that, Roger Hollis is also the person That Peter Wright clearly is convinced was a spy for the communists.
Reading something so controversial is enthralling enough. But knowing someone who must have been affected by the book's publication makes the speculation, that all the book's readers must go through, much more intimate...
Age of Zombies [PSN]
Play it for:
* it's actually quite fun.
* post-modern zombie slaughtering.
Avoid it for:
* short and mindless (though that's also a positive!)
* it's actually quite fun.
* post-modern zombie slaughtering.
Avoid it for:
* short and mindless (though that's also a positive!)
Sunday 20 June 2010
God of War 2 [PS3]
Play it for:
* God of War but better.
* God of War but more awesome.
* God of War but superior.
Avoid it for:
* The occasional sight of bare breasts.
* God of War but better.
* God of War but more awesome.
* God of War but superior.
Avoid it for:
* The occasional sight of bare breasts.
Sunday 13 June 2010
Indiana Jones & The Fate of Atlantis
Play it for:
* Indy atmosphere & humour.
* Surprisingly decent scholarship on the Atlantis myth.
Avoid it for:
* Somewhat dated gameplay.
* Indy atmosphere & humour.
* Surprisingly decent scholarship on the Atlantis myth.
Avoid it for:
* Somewhat dated gameplay.
Sunday 30 May 2010
Loom [Mac/PC]
Play it for:
* unique and smart control system.
* has a certain enigmatic charm.
Avoid it for:
* unresolved, underdeveloped, and incomplete.
* short (see above).
* unique and smart control system.
* has a certain enigmatic charm.
Avoid it for:
* unresolved, underdeveloped, and incomplete.
* short (see above).
Wednesday 26 May 2010
Machinarium [Mac/PC]
Play it for:
* beautiful art style.
* you can't help but love the rustily cute world and characters.
* great combination of "point n click" puzzling and more Layton-esque brainteasers.
Avoit it for:
* despite the great experience, it's a bit on the short side for its full price (£15).
* beautiful art style.
* you can't help but love the rustily cute world and characters.
* great combination of "point n click" puzzling and more Layton-esque brainteasers.
Avoit it for:
* despite the great experience, it's a bit on the short side for its full price (£15).
Saturday 22 May 2010
Portal [Mac][PC]
Play it for:
* Old school science fiction atmosphere.
* Unique and memorable gameplay experience.
* The song at the end.
Avoid it for:
* The game only reveals its full majesty in the last couple of chapters - though the ones leading up to that point are thankfully short and sweet.
* Old school science fiction atmosphere.
* Unique and memorable gameplay experience.
* The song at the end.
Avoid it for:
* The game only reveals its full majesty in the last couple of chapters - though the ones leading up to that point are thankfully short and sweet.
Robin Hood 2010 [film]
Watch it for:
* Cate Blanchett.
* To see the French get whooped.
* A film that defies expectations.
Avoid it for:
* Slow.
* Tries to be too clever and takes itself too seriously.
* Cate Blanchett.
* To see the French get whooped.
* A film that defies expectations.
Avoid it for:
* Slow.
* Tries to be too clever and takes itself too seriously.
Monday 17 May 2010
Not a poet
How am I judged? It's fair but also terse:
I'm not a poet. No. I just write verse.
So even though my metres flow alright,
My rhymes aren't bad, my structure's pretty tight,
But even so, these virtues are my flaws;
And better if I wrote bereft of laws
With verse as free as vultures in the air
And similarly full of grim despair
(Or full of any overwhelming passion -
At least, that seems to me to be the fashion.)
These vultures soar in search of greater beasts,
Which dead they rip asunder for their feasts.
Oh must it render all my verse as nought
Because of clear-communicating thought?
Oh must I write beneath a foggy shroud?
Or else with melodrama brashly loud?
"Well, yes, you silly fool. I think you'll find
That Poetry of the most superior kind
Has multiple mixed meanings to be mined."
This mumbo jumbo makes a lot of sense;
I see the good in having text that's dense.
For as dense weights sink far beneath the sea,
Just so dense texts can plumb humanity.
My lighter wit has quite a different home
And gaily drifts amidst the froth and foam.
Though mocked, one day I'll be that which I hope;
A modern shade of Alexander Pope.
Till then my shallow lines will soothe me too,
If, reading them, you view the world anew.
I'm not a poet. No. I just write verse.
So even though my metres flow alright,
My rhymes aren't bad, my structure's pretty tight,
But even so, these virtues are my flaws;
And better if I wrote bereft of laws
With verse as free as vultures in the air
And similarly full of grim despair
(Or full of any overwhelming passion -
At least, that seems to me to be the fashion.)
These vultures soar in search of greater beasts,
Which dead they rip asunder for their feasts.
Oh must it render all my verse as nought
Because of clear-communicating thought?
Oh must I write beneath a foggy shroud?
Or else with melodrama brashly loud?
"Well, yes, you silly fool. I think you'll find
That Poetry of the most superior kind
Has multiple mixed meanings to be mined."
This mumbo jumbo makes a lot of sense;
I see the good in having text that's dense.
For as dense weights sink far beneath the sea,
Just so dense texts can plumb humanity.
My lighter wit has quite a different home
And gaily drifts amidst the froth and foam.
Though mocked, one day I'll be that which I hope;
A modern shade of Alexander Pope.
Till then my shallow lines will soothe me too,
If, reading them, you view the world anew.
Friday 14 May 2010
Geese is the word
Fun little poem I knocked up during my lunch break today.
*** WARNING *** Contains strong language. Also, I shouldn't even have to say this, but given what's been read into some of my stuff in the past I'd better: this poem is about geese, and doesn't reflect at all on any of the people I know in Canada at the moment! Anyway, here it is.
The Canadian Goose is a grumpy old thing
Like the codger who lives next door;
So alike in their sense of entitlement
As they seek to impose their law.
Thus the geese grab the crumbs from the poor ickle ducks
And'll snatch 'em from *your* hand too.
Then as if to add insult to injury
They'll cover the path with poo.
As you try to pass by all their sly squidgy shits
With a hoppity tip-toe crawl,
They'll stand in your way and they'll hiss their distaste
That you dare to exist at all.
Oh the Land cannot stand these Napoleoners
For much longer than half a year.
That is why they must fuck off to Canada;
So far - but still too near...
*** WARNING *** Contains strong language. Also, I shouldn't even have to say this, but given what's been read into some of my stuff in the past I'd better: this poem is about geese, and doesn't reflect at all on any of the people I know in Canada at the moment! Anyway, here it is.
The Canadian Goose is a grumpy old thing
Like the codger who lives next door;
So alike in their sense of entitlement
As they seek to impose their law.
Thus the geese grab the crumbs from the poor ickle ducks
And'll snatch 'em from *your* hand too.
Then as if to add insult to injury
They'll cover the path with poo.
As you try to pass by all their sly squidgy shits
With a hoppity tip-toe crawl,
They'll stand in your way and they'll hiss their distaste
That you dare to exist at all.
Oh the Land cannot stand these Napoleoners
For much longer than half a year.
That is why they must fuck off to Canada;
So far - but still too near...
Monday 10 May 2010
Super Mario Galaxy [wii]
Play it for:
* pure AWESOME, pure FUN.
* amazingly creative level design.
* wonderful controls.
Avoid it for:
* voice acting, though thankfully sparse, is awful.
* pure AWESOME, pure FUN.
* amazingly creative level design.
* wonderful controls.
Avoid it for:
* voice acting, though thankfully sparse, is awful.
Wednesday 14 April 2010
300?
Way back in the Fifth Century
B.C. not Anno Domini
The Greek and Persian armies clashed
In battle at Thermopylae.
King Xerxes started all the fuss
By aping daddy Darius,
Who many years before had tried
To beat the Greeks; their win, his loss.
His army, scores of thousands strong,
Amassed, and made the journey –long!–
Through Persia, Thrace, then Macedon.
Who'd fling their lives at such a throng?
The disp'rate Greeks allayed their hates.
They kinda sussed that all their fates
Were intertwined. They duly formed
An army from their city-states.
The Spartan men should take the lead
(The toughest dudes, they all agreed).
But yikes! It was Carneia-time.
The ephors had to intercede...
Now blessed, the Spartans marched their men,
Some say in thirty groups of ten.
The Oracle forewarned their king
He'd never see his home again.
But adamant Leonidas
Was up for kicking Persian ass!
With fifty foes to face each friend,
He slyly chose a narrow pass.
Three days they held Thermopylae
Till Ephialtes' treachery.
Surrounded, skewered, severed, slain;
They won a hollow victory.
I'm privileged to comprehend
How many really met their end.
Each word commemorates a soul;
You'll calculate 200, friend.
B.C. not Anno Domini
The Greek and Persian armies clashed
In battle at Thermopylae.
King Xerxes started all the fuss
By aping daddy Darius,
Who many years before had tried
To beat the Greeks; their win, his loss.
His army, scores of thousands strong,
Amassed, and made the journey –long!–
Through Persia, Thrace, then Macedon.
Who'd fling their lives at such a throng?
The disp'rate Greeks allayed their hates.
They kinda sussed that all their fates
Were intertwined. They duly formed
An army from their city-states.
The Spartan men should take the lead
(The toughest dudes, they all agreed).
But yikes! It was Carneia-time.
The ephors had to intercede...
Now blessed, the Spartans marched their men,
Some say in thirty groups of ten.
The Oracle forewarned their king
He'd never see his home again.
But adamant Leonidas
Was up for kicking Persian ass!
With fifty foes to face each friend,
He slyly chose a narrow pass.
Three days they held Thermopylae
Till Ephialtes' treachery.
Surrounded, skewered, severed, slain;
They won a hollow victory.
I'm privileged to comprehend
How many really met their end.
Each word commemorates a soul;
You'll calculate 200, friend.
Saturday 10 April 2010
Spring Ditty
The playful cheeriness of Spring
Has once more conquered Winter's grim
Resolve. (Such a tenacious clutch -
But gone now, thank you very much!)
Has once more conquered Winter's grim
Resolve. (Such a tenacious clutch -
But gone now, thank you very much!)
Tuesday 30 March 2010
Mirror's Edge [PS3]
Play it for:
* pretty unique 1st-person parkour experience.
* real adrenaline rush when you're being hunted down and have to run for your life.
* genuine feeling of accomplishment.
* the heroine is uber-cool.
Avoid it for:
* some bits are very frustrating.
* pretty unique 1st-person parkour experience.
* real adrenaline rush when you're being hunted down and have to run for your life.
* genuine feeling of accomplishment.
* the heroine is uber-cool.
Avoid it for:
* some bits are very frustrating.
The Lady of the Neon Heart [poem]
The Lady of the Neon Heart
Of all the girls I've ever known
There's one I've never tried to court.
Instead, transfixed, I wait and watch
The Lady of the Neon Heart.
A curious title, to be sure,
But well-deserved. I'll tell you why.
For when she's feeling amorous
The spark of Cupid's energy
Lights up her soul. The glow beguiles;
This Will o' Wisp leads men astray,
Forever wand'ring in the gloom,
When love's soft light has gone awry.
She neither crows nor mourns their fates,
Emotion'ly she's too inert -
Just like the gas by which she's called,
My Lady of the Neon Heart.
Of all the girls I've ever known
There's one I've never tried to court.
Instead, transfixed, I wait and watch
The Lady of the Neon Heart.
A curious title, to be sure,
But well-deserved. I'll tell you why.
For when she's feeling amorous
The spark of Cupid's energy
Lights up her soul. The glow beguiles;
This Will o' Wisp leads men astray,
Forever wand'ring in the gloom,
When love's soft light has gone awry.
She neither crows nor mourns their fates,
Emotion'ly she's too inert -
Just like the gas by which she's called,
My Lady of the Neon Heart.
The Ruby Knight [Book]
Book two of the Elenium trilogy completed. More of the same, which is no bad thing. Same brilliant dialogue. It's also very playful, even having a slight poke at fantasy conventions; the characters actually question how improbable certain coincidences seem, and to his credit, Eddings does his best to make it all believable. Additionally, while I like Pratchett for writing the most serious Comic Fantasy, I like Eddings for writing the most witty Serious Fantasy.
Tuesday 23 March 2010
God of War [PS3]
Play it for:
* EPIC visuals and story
* seriously cool combat and battles
* devious puzzles
Avoid it for:
* pretty brutal if you don't like that kinda thing
* EPIC visuals and story
* seriously cool combat and battles
* devious puzzles
Avoid it for:
* pretty brutal if you don't like that kinda thing
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Batman: Arkham Asylum [PS3]
Play it for:
* brilliantly fluid combat system
* the awesomeness of the Batman universe
* suitable for the thinking gamer
Avoid it for:
* no catwoman
* brilliantly fluid combat system
* the awesomeness of the Batman universe
* suitable for the thinking gamer
Avoid it for:
* no catwoman
The Diamond Throne [Book]
Now my room's nice n tidy, I've seen my bookshelf. So last week I started reading a novel for the first time in a while. Catch up on the backlog of books I've bought but haven't got round to reading. Started on The Diamond Throne by David Eddings.
Haven't read any of his stuff since the epic Belgariad series, probably about 15 years ago. Felt really comfortable settling back into the thing I remembered and liked the best; the witty banter between the characters.
Characters are great too. All very vivid. The plot is very well-paced though. And has a great balance between things working out well for the heroes, and setbacks. All in all great fun, without being cheap or cheesy. Hopefully I'll get the other two books of the trilogy finished within the next three weeks. Then I might officially count myself as a reader again after a long, long lull.
Haven't read any of his stuff since the epic Belgariad series, probably about 15 years ago. Felt really comfortable settling back into the thing I remembered and liked the best; the witty banter between the characters.
Characters are great too. All very vivid. The plot is very well-paced though. And has a great balance between things working out well for the heroes, and setbacks. All in all great fun, without being cheap or cheesy. Hopefully I'll get the other two books of the trilogy finished within the next three weeks. Then I might officially count myself as a reader again after a long, long lull.
Friday 26 February 2010
Battling Beauty
Haven't written anything in a while. Not really been in the mood. But felt like writing this today.
Battling Beauty
Oh where's my Katherina?
Oh where my little shrew?
To scold me when I woo her,
To scratch me when I pet her,
To bite me when I kiss her,
And twist my warped heart true.
I want no dainty daisy.
I want a thorny rose.
To vex but not to irk me,
To barb but not to snare me,
To hurt but not to harm me,
Mi Bella - bellicose.
Battling Beauty
Oh where's my Katherina?
Oh where my little shrew?
To scold me when I woo her,
To scratch me when I pet her,
To bite me when I kiss her,
And twist my warped heart true.
I want no dainty daisy.
I want a thorny rose.
To vex but not to irk me,
To barb but not to snare me,
To hurt but not to harm me,
Mi Bella - bellicose.
Sunday 31 January 2010
It's Complicated [Film]
Watch it for:
* decent soundtrack (with a Fine Young Cannibals song, yay).
* bravely pushes the tabboo of sex among the over 50's.
Avoid it for:
* for a Rom Com it somewhat lacks both romance and comedy.
* some bits were borderline mentally scarring for me!
* decent soundtrack (with a Fine Young Cannibals song, yay).
* bravely pushes the tabboo of sex among the over 50's.
Avoid it for:
* for a Rom Com it somewhat lacks both romance and comedy.
* some bits were borderline mentally scarring for me!
Sunday 24 January 2010
Die Another Day [Film]
Watch it for:
* really interesting Bond girls.
* really interesting Bond villains.
Avoid it for:
* awful, awful dialogue.
* really interesting Bond girls.
* really interesting Bond villains.
Avoid it for:
* awful, awful dialogue.
Son of Rambow [Film]
Watch it for:
* 80's Britain nostalgia.
* really satisfying ending.
* loads of heart.
Avoid it for:
* not exactly gripping.
* 80's Britain nostalgia.
* really satisfying ending.
* loads of heart.
Avoid it for:
* not exactly gripping.
Poetry Exercise - Amphibrachs (Peregrine Praise)
This poem is a tetrameter of amphibrachs (di-DUM-di x4). May add more at a later date to cover other aspects of the peregrine if I feel like it. As I say, it's an intellectual exercise with the meter - don't expect anything funny or profound. Although might be worth reading just for getting DDT into a poem.
Peregrine Praise
Prepare for the funkiest bird on the planet
For nothing can better a peregrine falcon.
Its stoop is amazing – incredibly speedy:
Three hundred kilometres flown in an hour so
No creature exists on the Earth that is faster.
Unfortunately in the Fifties and Sixties
The number of peregrine falcons declined due
To Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane
But nevertheless they recovered since then and
It's testimony to their wondrous design that
No other carnivorous bird is as widespread.
So let's raise a cheer for the peregrine falcon
A bird that excels and a beautiful marvel.
Peregrine Praise
Prepare for the funkiest bird on the planet
For nothing can better a peregrine falcon.
Its stoop is amazing – incredibly speedy:
Three hundred kilometres flown in an hour so
No creature exists on the Earth that is faster.
Unfortunately in the Fifties and Sixties
The number of peregrine falcons declined due
To Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane
But nevertheless they recovered since then and
It's testimony to their wondrous design that
No other carnivorous bird is as widespread.
So let's raise a cheer for the peregrine falcon
A bird that excels and a beautiful marvel.
Friday 22 January 2010
Brick [Film]
Watch it for:
* astonishingly original twist on a genre.
* very smart.
Avoid it for:
* some will find the terseness dull.
* astonishingly original twist on a genre.
* very smart.
Avoid it for:
* some will find the terseness dull.
Thursday 21 January 2010
Aberdonian Dream
OK, this is my first attempt with the Rubaiyat form. Feels quite good for bombastic storytelling. Be warned, possibly my smuttiest poem ever.
Aberdonian Dream
I dreamt a man from Aberdeen
With hair so brown and eyes so green
That strangely stripped before my eyes
And then performed some acts obscene.
I wondered what he had in mind
When he began to bump and grind
But my suspicions were confirmed;
He turned and waggled his behind.
Aghast I looked the other way
And saw a nun who bade me pray -
We knelt. His lust accosted her
And they in sinful union lay.
But this perversion was the least;
For waving oil he lured a priest.
The three of them entwined like snakes
And slipp'ry too, now fully greased.
“A-Ha!” he yelled. “I'll soon explode.”
He spasmed then and loosed his load
And leaving nun and priest behind
Towards me winked and quickly strode.
Then to my rescue leapt a hound.
The massive beast let out a sound
To chill the blood of any man.
Fangs dripping drool, it pawed the ground.
A charge. A crash. A mournful pile...
I underestimate his guile.
Those tangled limbs reformed anew;
The hound is learning doggy style.
I uttered words profane and terse
And thinking things could get no worse
Tried to escape but found my way
Was blocked by a funereal hearse.
Then to my side he slyly slid
And lifted up the coffin lid.
“A-Ha! A corpse. I see he's stiff!”
I will not tell you what he did.
Despite this man's perverted quest
(Who wandered round my mind undressed)
He clearly had great stamina
And so my eyebrow rose, impressed.
“A-Ha!” he cried. “I have a lot
Of wood to spare 'cos I'm a Scot.
A Scottish pine is evergreen.
Now come and join me, will you not?”
And at that point I yearned to see
Quite what he had in store for me
And wondered just how wrong it was
To yield to curiosity.
I'm sure that you would like to know
The details of our to and fro
Unfortunately though for you
That's somewhere I'm not gonna go.
If you persist in seeking more
I'll say he left me feeling sore;
So many hours I used my parts
In ways I never had before.
Aberdonian Dream
I dreamt a man from Aberdeen
With hair so brown and eyes so green
That strangely stripped before my eyes
And then performed some acts obscene.
I wondered what he had in mind
When he began to bump and grind
But my suspicions were confirmed;
He turned and waggled his behind.
Aghast I looked the other way
And saw a nun who bade me pray -
We knelt. His lust accosted her
And they in sinful union lay.
But this perversion was the least;
For waving oil he lured a priest.
The three of them entwined like snakes
And slipp'ry too, now fully greased.
“A-Ha!” he yelled. “I'll soon explode.”
He spasmed then and loosed his load
And leaving nun and priest behind
Towards me winked and quickly strode.
Then to my rescue leapt a hound.
The massive beast let out a sound
To chill the blood of any man.
Fangs dripping drool, it pawed the ground.
A charge. A crash. A mournful pile...
I underestimate his guile.
Those tangled limbs reformed anew;
The hound is learning doggy style.
I uttered words profane and terse
And thinking things could get no worse
Tried to escape but found my way
Was blocked by a funereal hearse.
Then to my side he slyly slid
And lifted up the coffin lid.
“A-Ha! A corpse. I see he's stiff!”
I will not tell you what he did.
Despite this man's perverted quest
(Who wandered round my mind undressed)
He clearly had great stamina
And so my eyebrow rose, impressed.
“A-Ha!” he cried. “I have a lot
Of wood to spare 'cos I'm a Scot.
A Scottish pine is evergreen.
Now come and join me, will you not?”
And at that point I yearned to see
Quite what he had in store for me
And wondered just how wrong it was
To yield to curiosity.
I'm sure that you would like to know
The details of our to and fro
Unfortunately though for you
That's somewhere I'm not gonna go.
If you persist in seeking more
I'll say he left me feeling sore;
So many hours I used my parts
In ways I never had before.
Sunday 17 January 2010
Apostrophilia
A silly little poem I've just written. Worryingly, it may actually serve a practical use...
Apostrophilia
Some folk love food and drink and sleep,
Some love the birds and bees,
Some love to rule, some love to serve,
I love apostrophes.
It's such a versatile thing
And that can muddle folk.
You get it right, you show your wit -
But wrong and you're the joke.
A kid's ability to place
It in the right position
Depends on who kids' teachers are
And if they have precision.
"But is it used possessively
Or to abbreviate?"
It's easy when you know its role;
This knowledge feels... Great!
So as you see, Apostrophe
Is like a thing divine.
It isn't God's nor Zeus's though,
Nor Jesus' – it's MINE!
Apostrophilia
Some folk love food and drink and sleep,
Some love the birds and bees,
Some love to rule, some love to serve,
I love apostrophes.
It's such a versatile thing
And that can muddle folk.
You get it right, you show your wit -
But wrong and you're the joke.
A kid's ability to place
It in the right position
Depends on who kids' teachers are
And if they have precision.
"But is it used possessively
Or to abbreviate?"
It's easy when you know its role;
This knowledge feels... Great!
So as you see, Apostrophe
Is like a thing divine.
It isn't God's nor Zeus's though,
Nor Jesus' – it's MINE!
Avatar 3D [Film]
Watch it for:
* 160 minutes of pure WOW
* 3D giant blue humanoid alien love-making scene!
* a truly fascinating alien ecology
Avoid it for:
* to be the one person who hasn't seen it
* 160 minutes of pure WOW
* 3D giant blue humanoid alien love-making scene!
* a truly fascinating alien ecology
Avoid it for:
* to be the one person who hasn't seen it
Prince of Persia [PS3]
Play it for:
* phenomenally engrossing dialogue between the main two characters
* lush, LUSH visuals
* super duper acrobatic feats
Avoid it for:
* occasionally frustrating combat
* phenomenally engrossing dialogue between the main two characters
* lush, LUSH visuals
* super duper acrobatic feats
Avoid it for:
* occasionally frustrating combat
Wednesday 13 January 2010
Review of Reviews
I've realised all my reviews are pretty mundane. As a result I'm gonna completely change the format henceforth, and may apply these retrospectively...
*** UPDATE ***
This has now been done (17/01/2010).
*** UPDATE ***
This has now been done (17/01/2010).
Monday 11 January 2010
Thrush Cream Advert Slogan
Oh dear oh dear. Who on earth at Canesten allowed his to be the slogan for their thrush cream... "Leaving you feeling yourself again."
Yikes!
Yikes!
Sunday 3 January 2010
Ratchet & Clank: Quest for Booty [PS3]
Play it for:
* Rusty Pete the pirate
* moves the story on
Avoid it for:
* NO CLANK!
* Inferior in every way to Tools of Destruction
* Rusty Pete the pirate
* moves the story on
Avoid it for:
* NO CLANK!
* Inferior in every way to Tools of Destruction
Where The Wild Things Are [Film]
Watch it for:
* the adorable KW.
* a very emotive experience.
Avoid it for:
* too self-indulgent in places.
* the adorable KW.
* a very emotive experience.
Avoid it for:
* too self-indulgent in places.
Saturday 2 January 2010
Five Resolutions
OK, here are my five resolutions for 2010
1. To perfect and then maintain my BMI
2. To complete at least 20 games
3. To learn a new language or skill
4. To strengthen my spirituality
5. To visit two new countries
1. To perfect and then maintain my BMI
2. To complete at least 20 games
3. To learn a new language or skill
4. To strengthen my spirituality
5. To visit two new countries
Friday 1 January 2010
Five Things
Reflecting on the year gone by, many of us make resolutions for the next. And then the year after that, most of us realise that we didn't really keep those resolutions, and often go on to make the same ones again. This forgetfulness is a miraculous feature of the human experience, and I'm sure without the boon of mild oblivion most of us would go mad.
Anyway, here are the Five Things That I Really REALLY Should Have Learnt By Now, But Will STILL End Up Forgetting For 2010
1. If you stay in bed for just five more minutes, it'll be a helluva lot longer than five minutes.
2. If something seems too good to be true, alarm bells should ring in your head.
3. If you're going to jizz, don't do it before morning prayer.
4. Putting things in a safe place means you won't be able to find them.
5. You won't keep your resolutions, so don't make them.
Anyway, here are the Five Things That I Really REALLY Should Have Learnt By Now, But Will STILL End Up Forgetting For 2010
1. If you stay in bed for just five more minutes, it'll be a helluva lot longer than five minutes.
2. If something seems too good to be true, alarm bells should ring in your head.
3. If you're going to jizz, don't do it before morning prayer.
4. Putting things in a safe place means you won't be able to find them.
5. You won't keep your resolutions, so don't make them.
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