Where The Wild Things Are [Film]

Watch it for:
* the adorable KW.
* a very emotive experience.

Avoid it for:
* too self-indulgent in places.

Five Resolutions

OK, here are my five resolutions for 2010

1. To perfect and then maintain my BMI
2. To complete at least 20 games
3. To learn a new language or skill
4. To strengthen my spirituality
5. To visit two new countries

Five Things

Reflecting on the year gone by, many of us make resolutions for the next. And then the year after that, most of us realise that we didn't really keep those resolutions, and often go on to make the same ones again. This forgetfulness is a miraculous feature of the human experience, and I'm sure without the boon of mild oblivion most of us would go mad.

Anyway, here are the Five Things That I Really REALLY Should Have Learnt By Now, But Will STILL End Up Forgetting For 2010

1. If you stay in bed for just five more minutes, it'll be a helluva lot longer than five minutes.
2. If something seems too good to be true, alarm bells should ring in your head.
3. If you're going to jizz, don't do it before morning prayer.
4. Putting things in a safe place means you won't be able to find them.
5. You won't keep your resolutions, so don't make them.

Ratchet & Clank: Tools of Destruction [PS3]

Play it for:
* MASSIVELY varied and fun gameplay.
* the awesome weapon system.
* wonderful comedy value.
* plenty of destruction without being violent.

Avoid it for:
* not exactly challenging.

O Icicle

Another quick little one. This is (for the main) in iambic dimeter [di-DUM di-DUM].

O Icicle,
Ephemeral,
So quick to form,
So quick to go,
Oh.

Boy Racer

Just a quick little one. This is in anapaestic pentameter for those who're interested - (each line is "diddy-DUM" x5). I've italicised a couple of words to help with metrical stress.

Boy Racer

You were going at sixty but you didn't know how to drive.
You were racing too swiftly when you didn't know how to love.
So you now know what happens when you're in too much of a rush;
The inevitable - it's a mangled, obstreporous CraSH.

Blast from the Past

All this poesy has reminded me of a poem I wrote when I was 17. It was about a teacher and pupil in class who used to fight a lot. Foolishly, I wrote it down on paper, which was snatched from me, photocopied, and distributed around various people. It shattered my innocent image and left me with a nervous tic in one of my eyes for a few weeks! Anyway, I've changed the names to protect the original identities. Not for any warped reasons. Honest.


Mrs. Sprout and Draco feel
That their lust they can conceal
By their over-angry antics in the class
But should we boys reveal
That we've heard Pomona squeal
With delight, as Malfoy takes her up the ass